Number one, Welcome, Ayati! Congratulations to Susan, Bobby, and Asha.

Number two, Thank you for the Milwaukee mini-tour, Kate.

Number three, Congratulations to Liss, who yesterday turned in her final assignment of her undergraduate career, and who graduates from UCLA this Saturday!

Yesterday I took Vibble to the Zimmer Children’s Museum. It’s a great place, and we ended up joining as members. This is a place a lot like Kidspace, where we went the week before last (Or was it last week? What year is it?), but targeted to a bit shorter crowd. It’s got a real airplane inside the kids can play in, a real ambulance … and then kid-scaled versions of various scenes they can play in to their heart’s delight—a hospital ER, a grocery store with cashier stand and produce section and shopping baskets … a bookstore … a bagel shop …. a synagogue … a little indoor park … a newspaper-making place (?) … all of this complete in detail and stationed along an adorable, DETAILED “street,” and all just sitting there with props and “costumes” lying about, waiting for kids and their imaginations to enjoy it. There’s also a small room full of big, thick, gym-mats designated for under-twos. We got there just as it opened, and no one showed up for about 20 minutes. So Vibble was able to walk around and explore without any bigger kids to compete with. She did not want to go in the plane or ambulance. She wanted to pull everything off of every shelf in each of the scenes. Eventually, more kids showed up—but no one older than 4—and then she was really in heaven. MUST. TOUCH. EVERY. KID. She did a lot of what Stevel calls Stalking, too, where she would single out one kid for a while and just trail them all around the place for a long time, until I put an end to it because it became so AWKWARD with the parent. Anyway, we will be going here more. It’s a great place for Vibble to interact with other kids, explore with great freedom (the place is a good size and is in a building more secure than the airport, I kid you not), and develop her imagination. It’s also a fantastic place for us to play TOGETHER, and I love that.

Which brings me to my next topic. You may have noticed that we seem to be “doing” things more and more. All of a sudden, this kid is C R A Z Y. I mentioned a few posts back a certain wildness. It abated some, but came back (Again coinciding with the full moon—coincidence? Have you SEEN the black fur on this child’s back? My furry little were-wee-one). Now the wildness seems permanent. It’s like some kind of backup-rocket-engine has engaged in there, and she has to be interacted with and stimulated constantly, or she acts out. And acting out is not pretty. Meltdowns over nothing, purposeful and violent dismantling of household areas, blatant rule-breaking (Did I not TELL you EIGHT times to stop playing in the pool of cat vomit by the TV? Mom will clean that WHEN IT DRIES!).

In terms of new-parenthood discoveries, I am confused as to why, when you have a kid, everyone warns you about the sleep deprivation of the infant stage. That is amateur-sleep-deprivation stuff. I would gladly trade that feeling for how exhausted I am by dinnertime every day now. And the last few nights? She has woken up and cried in the night repeatedly until she is in bed next to me. Which means I wake up feeling like I slept in the trunk of someone’s subcompact car. For about two hours. And that was my whole night. (Susan, I really don’t know how you’ve survived with Sleepless-Sunshine over there. I hope you have reinforcements coming to stay for a loooong time with the new addition.)

Last night I had a migraine again for most of the night, due to its being cloudy outside. See, my skull has AMBITIONS. It wants to be a famous meteorologist. Thus I would like to make it known on the record that when I die, I would like to have my organs donated, but my SKULL should be sent to UCLA’s School of Atmospheric Sciences, and enrolled as a first-year undergraduate.

I don’t know what today’s failed attempt at toddler exhaustion will involve, but I know it won’t be Gym n’ Swim. Combine the crazy active days with the contorted, cut-short nights and the fact that I’m lifting a 25-pound body every ten minutes (often while also lifting 80 pounds worth of groceries, or a jammed laundry basket, or …), and right now I feel like I got hit by a speeding subcompact car, one with a mom in the trunk. Thud. I just can’t do it today. Can’t swish her around the pool. Can’t spot her on the mats. Can’t lift her up and down during the chorus of the Pirate Song. I’m sorry, Vibble, but we will have to fail at wearing you out today somewhere where I can watch from the sidelines. Playground maybe, or the Creepy Restaurant. Or maybe David will come over and play Hide n’ Seek with you for two hours.

Just in case it comes across that I’m not enjoying my toddler, I have to state for the record that she is the cutest, funnest thing in the whole wide world, and I feel lucky every day to be getting to spend so much time with her.

I don’t want to end this post without updating you on Stevel. His recovery from the surgery continues. Still in pain, but looking less run-down now. It will still be a little while before we know how well the surgery worked in terms of improving his breathing. We will let you know for sure.

Time for Blue’s Clues. “La la la la la la because it’s really FUN!” Thinking Chair, please help me remember what day it is.

DEVIANT NO. 1: A NOSE

Steve had surgery Thursday to correct his deviated septum. He hasn’t been complaining of a lot of pain, but he is tired and uncomfortable. He won’t be able to breathe through his nose for a week or so. The hope is that this surgery will make it so he sleeps better. Well, that is MY hope. Steve is still skeptical. He’s not really a hoper. So I’m adding to my hope the hope he is pleasantly surprised. See how I have to hope for both of us? Isn’t that extra nice of me?

I would write more about Steve’s surgery and recovery, but I’m not sure he would want me telling everyone things like how, when waking up from the anesthesia, he tried very hard to get out of bed, confounding the nurses. He was groggily explaining, “I have to get home to my wife.” Aw. He missed me. Or feared me. Either way, aw.

DEVIANT NO. 2: MIA

Mia. Mia, why did you have to poop on the carpet just minutes after the carpet cleaner had left? Why?

DEVIANT NO. 3: A WOLF PUP

The week before last, Vibble was insane. Moody, impossible to please, hyperactive. Core Reactor Meltdown. I took her to Gym n’ Swim but skipped the Swim, because I kept picturing a toddler-instigated tsunami in the pool. (Take a moment and imagine it yourself—devastating scene.) Last week she eventually returned to her happy natured self again. That’s when Steve noticed the Mastadon molar. When she ate, he said, “Yeah, grind it.”

Tuesday we went to KidSpace in Pasadena with Sarah-Novelist and Megan and Christopher, and Violet had a wonderful time walking all over the place. She likes to hold someone’s hand and lead them around. She’ll come up to one of us and reach out her hand and say, “Mmm? Mmm?” Very cute.

But now I think the other molar must be coming in. Combine that with the Full Moon and the fact she walks now and therefore must walk at all times, and WHERE she WANTS to walk, and you have some challenging little stretches. Yesterday there were many times when she refused to sit in the stroller, and by refusing I mean arching her body and screaming, or slipping the binds of her restraints and standing up. She also refused to be held, and at times it took my total body’s muscle power to keep her in my arms, versus, say, in the street, or on the escalator at the mall. She was restless and hyper yesterday, so I took her to the mall in the morning and the promenade in the afternoon to get her out of the house so Steve could rest and to let her walk around some. Today I will just go straight for the playground, though, because it was too much of a workout to try and conform HER to SOCIETY (e.g. the streets thing, the doors-that-say-”Employees Only” thing, etc.). Not happening. She requires total freedom right now. I require a week in a spa.

Here are some photos from this week. Enjoy!

Excuse my shameless friend-promotion — but please read Sarah-Novelist’s first review for the National Examiner, especially if you’re a fan of the TV show So You Think You Can Dance! The more you click on the page, and the more you comment, the more money S gets in return!

CLICK HERE!

Watchy watchy!

And now Vibb and I are off to Oregon … see you when we get back!

A New Video!

(I don’t want my dad’s co-workers to have to hear the same audio over and over for TOO long.)

What do I do with it now? Paint it with puzzle glue and display it somewhere in No. 6? (Stevel has already forbidden such an act of aesthetic heathendom.) Dismantle it and do it again? Ug.

I propose an immediate puzzle exchange. Who has one to send? I will drop this one in the mail to you immediately!

David gave me his photos from Christmas morning, so I’ve added some pics to the beginning and end of this album < --- CLICK HERE, including this shot of what she is doing right now, as I type this.

Photos

I got worse after that post. Then I got well. A 24-hour bug. Violet got it too. Stevel got his own version of it. But we were all fine very soon.

I don’t have much to say right now. Perhaps at a later date. Meanwhile here are some new photos.

I am busy today packing for our trip east, but Jeremy has recently posted two things that are especially worth checking out in the way of appreciating the Internet and what it—and Jeremy—can do:

Many Gs

Extra points for “butt”

I’m quite excited and proud to say my husband’s game is now available in the iPhone Apps store! It’s called QUORDY, it’s just $2.99, and you can buy it on your phone or via iTunes. It’s a word game, and you can play against friends. Please tell everyone you know who has an iPhone. I promise they won’t be annoyed with you, because this game is so much fun that those of us who have been testing it for Stevel are already addicted to it.

QUORDY in the iTunes application store

My nose has been actively seeping blood for six days. The insides of my nasal passages seem to have left behind on the plane from Detroit any desire to be normal. I’ve tried some great products, thanks to friends’ advice, but nothing seems to be working. I’m losing pillowcases and shirts, not to mention every time I cough, a giant clot flies from my mouth. Gross, yes. Yes. And uncomfortable. Anyway, any ideas?

In fifth grade, the boys and girls were separated for an afternoon. While the boys went to Mrs. Stillman’s room to ask questions like, “What does ‘rubber’ mean?,” we girls gathered in Mrs. Leonard’s room to meet with the school nurse to watch Julie’s Story and hear the answers to questions like the one Michele Steve asked: “What happens if the string falls off?”

But in 2008, we need to add an important new chapter to this lesson: How to Properly Google a Man. No woman should go on a date without a thorough Google, as I learned too-late in Savannah after an unfortunately POST-date search-engine session revealed that the guy I’d gone out with that evening either (a) had two kids and a wife and wanted to move to Australia to become a golf pro, or (b) was weird enough to claim to have two kids and a wife on some golf bulletin board in order to get tips on how to move to Australia and become a golf pro. Either way, sketchy, no? (He had a very unusual name, and some of the details in the bulletin-board post confirmed it was indeed the very same guy.)

Anyway, I’ll be teaching Violet to do this as I coach her about being mindful of the image she presents of herself online (try not to mention your boobs or poop more than three times per blog entry, for example). After the obvious networking sites (MySpace, FaceBook, Classmates, etc.), it becomes all about keywords. Here’s how you do it:

[1] Remember to try alternate spellings of his name, including obvious nicknames (e.g. “Steve,” “Stephen,” “Steven,” “Stevie”).

[2] After this it becomes all about keywords. Try his name and the name of his company, or his name and his hobby (For example “Steve LaVietes” and “Rock Band” brings up a link to this).

[3] Skim relevant return articles thoroughly in search of additional keywords. If at the bottom of an article in his office newsletter about his latest game of basketball with the accounting dept. team there’s a quote in which he mentions that he had to skip post-game celebrations to feed his chihuahua, Google his name and “chihuahua.” Then Google his name and “accounting,” his name and the company name, etc.

[4] Don’t limit yourself to the first three returns. Skim the first 10-20 returns the search engine spits out. Never know.

[5] In the network sites, be thorough. Click on his friends (esp. the female ones), and read comments he has made to them.

[6] If anything sketchy pops, but you still want that date, you can always check your state’s sex offender registry. I mean, that’s what it’s there for, right?

It should be noted, and taught to our daughters, that Googling doesn’t cover everything. On the Internet we can be whoever we want to be, instead of who we really are. The thing is, though, the savvier you become at using the Internet to do little background checks, the likelier you are to find information about someone that doesn’t quite sync up with that MySpace page (e.g. On MySpace, he says he’s 16, but he is listed on the Board of Directors page for a major corporation … hmmmm).

Isn’t this terrifying?

Please, girlfriends, if you have anything to add to this lesson, post comments. (Please, Dad, keep it to under nine paragraphs.)

Seriously. How could I not purchase these?

Of all the kid gear, which item do you most wish came in an adult size?

[ ] play gym
[ ] baby bathtub with temperature monitor
[ ] swing
[ ] bouncer
[ ] stroller
[ ] other

One of the side effects of Sarah-Architect’s second visit to the ER was that the purple towel finally reached its destined role as St. John’s medical waste.

Towards the end of Kristan’s pregnancy, we started considering things like trees falling in the forest and waters breaking in the car. With little-to-no direct tree-falling or water-breaking experience, we worked with the obvious: the forest is probably far enough away to be of little concern but broken water is probably pretty wet.

That’s when the purple towel took its place in the passenger seat of my car. Water never broke in the car as the towel remained dry and purposeless until tonsils broke for the second time.

Happy decay, purple towel.

(guest entry written by stevel in response to gentle-but-ongoing peer pressure)

I feel the same way, Dooce, after only seven weeks.

Also a nice opportunity to work on your Spanish skills or acquire some basic Spanish. Usually the group is made up of mostly teachers from Oregon, of all ages, and with some non-teachers, too. All are welcome. Really a fantastic deal and a great experience. If you’ve been thinking you want to explore Mexico at some point, I highly recommend it as an “intro course” in that. I have the application, so e-mail me if you want it. Click here to read blog entries or here to view photos from the summer before last, when I experienced this program for myself.

TEACHERS!
OTHERS!
SHARPEN YOUR SPANISH IN MEXICO

OIC SUMMER SEMINAR 2008

COST INCLUDES …
SPANISH LANGUAGE INSTRUCTION PLUS
WEEKLY CULTURAL TOURS, HOMESTAYS, OPTIONAL TEACHING METHODS COURSE FOR COLLEGE CREDIT

Location: Puebla, Mexico, with tours to various cities/sites
4 Week option: July 3-August 1
2 Week option: July 3-July 21

Presented by the
Oregon International Council
Graduate Credit Pending from Oregon State University

PROGRAM OVERVIEW
The OIC/ COFLT Spanish Seminar in Puebla, Mexico, plans its 14th year in 2008, offering a unique learning opportunity for language teachers, and for all others interested in expanding their linguistic and cultural horizons. Spanish language classes in small groups, instruction in proficiency-oriented teaching methods by a Master Teacher from Oregon, living with Mexican families, a variety of local field trips, and a three-day tour of Mexico City make this program a rich experience for all.

Instruction takes place at the English/Espanol Training Center (ETC), a private institution with long-time Oregon connec­tions. Puebla, Mexico ‘s 4th largest city, two hours from Mexico City , offers many examples of pre-Columbian culture as well as traditional and modern Mexico, moderate climate, and clean air off usual tourist routes. Accommodations are in Mexican homes. Weekend trips to other areas in Mexico are optional extras.

The four-week program provides 80 hours of language instruction and 20+ hours of teaching methodology, enhanced by living with Mexican families, while experiencing city life and many local field trips and in-town activities. The two-week option involves the same classes and activities for the first two weeks, totaling 40 hours of Spanish and 10+ in methodology.

Oral assessment interviews before and after the seminar have indicated significant progress in communicative proficiency by most participants. This program has been approved for ten graduate quarter credits by Oregon State University.

Recent participants have offered the following comments on the program:
“..it opened doors for me to a whole new world.”
“..many of us anticipate returning to this program and plan to recommend it to our peers.”
“I can’t say enough about the program; it was wonderful!!”
“Rich culture immersion; wonderful & hospitable family; excellent upper-level teachers…”
On seminar leadership: “ Anne Mueller is absolutely superb…glues it all together into a perfect whole…Her attentiveness to participants .and.. details of the program make the difference between a seminar that is satisfactory and one that is outstanding.”

FACULTY
Language instruction is provided by native speakers of Spanish trained in language teaching methods, many with ad vanced degrees. Seminar Director Anne Mueller, who has led the program since its inception in 1995, is an experienced teacher of Spanish at all levels, elementary through college; many of her students have demonstrated remarkable performance in local and national assessments. She has taught language teaching methods in Oregon and in other states, at national and regional conferences, and internationally.

COSTS
Basic fees: four weeks – $2,600; two weeks – $1,900: covering instruction, materials, pre- and post-seminar proficiency assessments; room and board (double occupancy), local field trips, and a 3-day Mexico City weekend. The credit fees are: 10 quarter credits – $600; 5 credits – $350; course designation – SPAN 508. Family members may accompany as space permits, at costs adjusted to specific program needs. Funding note: Participants have often been able to obtain financial assistance for this program through school or district Continuing Education or other funds.

These were Steve’s and my fortune cookie fortunes recently at a restaurant called “Little Hong Kong Cafe”:

Fortunes

Are they supposed to be THAT accurate???

[1] I am tired, all the time. I sleep a lot.

[2] Friends introduced me to Scrabulous on Facebook. I check my games obsessively. Others who want to play, I get it now—let’s play.

[3] There’s a lot of rockin’ goin’ on.

Over the next seven days, I will be grading my students’ final exams, final portfolios, and Term Papers (for my two classes). See you after that.