Today in the Target parking lot, I saw a man walking to his car with nothing but a suitcase, tags on. As in, he went to Target to buy a suitcase, and that is all he bought. How does this work, exactly? I can’t go to Target without buying enough stuff to FILL a suitcase. The only thing that slows me down is that shopping at Target has a mysteriously laxative effect. Every single time. I literally know where the bathrooms are in every Target store between my house and Long Beach, and I know where the opportune cart-parking nooks are NEAR the bathrooms, and I know if I’m making a quick trip to Target that I need to allow time for this. I know this is a lot of very personal information, but it all fascinates me—the man buying ONE ITEM at a store with THOUSANDS of NECESSARY items AND the mysterious qualities of this chain. Maybe they produce something at Target Headquarters, some chemical meant to induce purchase … some chemical with strange side effects. Hm. I’m onto you, Target.