Celebrating the Fuck Out of Christmas

December 11th, 2006

Stevel and I went to the Aimee Mann Christmas show at the Avalon last night. It turned out to be a variety show of comedy, traditional Christmas tunes, and original music from Aimee and Grant Lee Phillips. Aimee promised to “fuck Christmas up for you,” and the show delivered. Great fun.

Today I went to the UCLA library to dig into my big term paper on Emily Dickinson. I made significant progress and am still working away at it. On campus I saw a sign that said this:

HELEN OF TROY
Model wanted
NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY
[phone no.]

The capitalized parts were huge, the middle line, small, so that it really appeared the experience mentioned referred to experience being Helen of Troy. Good thing it was not necessary. So few of us have been whisked to Troy by a prince who learned about our beauty from Aphrodite herself.

I also got a call from my sister, who told me this story: Her little family was walking around the mall today, and when Dani, 4, got tired, Brian (my bro-in-law) put her up on his shoulders. After some time in this seat, Dani was put down, only to collapse on the floor, shouting, “My socks are wrong! They’re all tingly!”

If you ever wonder how an alien would describe human concepts—like, say, your foot falling asleep—ask Dani.

5 Responses to “Celebrating the Fuck Out of Christmas”

  1. Pauline Says:

    Your mom and dad wasted their money on your college if you can’t find any better words than the “F” word. Use your “college” dictionary and find a better word. You never know who might read your blog–?? Erica !!

  2. Pauline Says:

    By the way “Christmas” has no “F” in it.

  3. stevel Says:

    Well, I think it must be graduate school vocabulary. So, don’t fret about your money having been spent on it.

  4. lavietes Says:

    Oh, Pauline, now you know you and I differ when it comes to cussing. And tattoos. And illegal street-racing, which is just dangerous, you crazy thing!

    I don’t mean to be disrespectful to Christmas. I’m just loving it in my own way. And as for Erica, who do you think taught me that word in the first place?

    I’m sorry if my Web site is offensive. I promise to try not to go TOO crazy in that department. Happy Christmas-time. I hope it’s wonderful for us all.

  5. sista' Says:

    k, Erica will NOT be reading this, but I sometimes read it to Brian. He agrees with you. I agree with you. ALso, it was not you who said “fuck Christmas up for you,” but Aimee Mann. Perhaps our parents do not understand our generations “lingo” and misunderstood, but this is actually a good thing! I want my Christmas to be fucked up, too….. : )

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