A Taste of the Poison

March 9th, 2007

Another note on my visit to CVS just now …

I have been trying for some time to adopt healthier habits. I don’t feel like my lifestyle is totally out of control, but having, since I got married, gained almost 20 pounds FOR NO REASON, I’ve wanted to try and get into something that qualifies as “shape.” And not the shape of a bowl of brown goo meant to make brownies for two dozen people, and not the shape of a dinner that consists of a double-scoop at Baskin-Robbins, and not the shape of French fries covered with melted Velveeta and dipped in Ranch. Shape. This is L.A., and I don’t own ANY of the things that really qualify you to live here, including gorgeous bottle-platinum hair, a bronze tan sprayed on with a finer result than the “sun” could ever DREAM of creating on a human’s skin, flip-a-quarter-tight abs, a Lamborghini, a live-in-vegan-chef, a personal-trainer-slash-cabana-boy, or a Bluetooth headset perfect for screaming at your personal assistant while you jog in your eight-hundred-dollar jogging outfit. I don’t even have roller blades OR a surfboard. I was scared they might evict me if I didn’t at least get a gym membership.

So I joined Sarah-Architect’s gym. And I have been trying to eat salads. And I have for THREE WHOLE DAYS successfully avoided any major sugar-sweets. I was proudly gnawing celery sticks in front of the TV. I was selecting salads in restaurants where cheese-slathered items were also offered. I was talking myself out of ice cream on the way home from errand-running by promising myself sugar-free Oreos and sugar-free chocolates when I got home. I was riding high on my Aspertame wagon!

But oh, how the glorious fall. While walking to CVS, I decided to allow myself a Cadbury’s egg. As a treat. A seasonal treat. One. This wouldn’t be like last year, when I bought a CASE of them there, so that even the cashier wanted an explanation. Oh no.

But would you believe those pushers at CVS were selling them two for one!

Now I feel like ass. If Stevel doesn’t get home soon, I am in danger of eating brown sugar directly from the box, because it’s the only sugary thing left in the house. (Please come home, Stevel.)

5 Responses to “A Taste of the Poison”

  1. AxsDeny Says:

    “FOR NO REASON”

    *cough*

    Remember the “dinner” we had last time I visited. 2 lbs of cookie dough isn’t exactly a staple in the healthy eating world.

    Who cares though? Eat what you like. You’re gonna die someday, so jam as much sugar and alcohol into your body as possible.

  2. cindy Says:

    Matt and I are driving to Frederick to eat at Cracker Barrel tonight.

  3. ma Says:

    I am convinced that chocolate is on the daily physical requirement list for the female human body. If women don’t get the right amount of chocolate in their daily diet, they go postal. So I do the world a favor and eat chocolate every day. It’s really improved my outlook on life.

  4. Megan Says:

    Cadbury is deliciously evil. My sister has been visiting for 3 weeks now and has been craving one of those eggs since she arrived. So far, we have yet to purchase a single egg. We went out and joined a pilates class though!

    At least I don’t want any more Mini Eggs. My super-splurge back in February seems to have killed any further desire for those this season. ;)

  5. dad Says:

    Chocolate is Gods way of keeping balance in the Universe.

    In the beginning God created Man. Then he said, “I can do better!” And he did. The warning label does caution though that lack of Chocolate can make Woman go Postal. So to maintain the balance of the Universe, women MUST have a daily/weekly quota of chocolate to remain sane in an insane world. Left to men think of where we would be? Eating Wings and watching Football 24/7. Wait a second that does’nt sound too bad! But oh where would the beauty come from with out women.

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