“The Ranching,” or “Steve’s Worst Nightmare”
June 25th, 2007Stevel, aka Man-Who-Once-Declared-That-Should-He-Become-King-of-The-World-His-First-Act-as-Leader-Would-Be-To-Outlaw-Ranch-Dressing, being out for a walk, I took the opportunity to make myself a nice, Ranchy salad. The salad was in a plastic container, which I closed and began to shake in the name of mixing the salad and dressing together. Cue the horror music now, because the conatiner was not properly sealed, and it EXPLODED EVERYWHERE. It exploded onto the counter, onto the floor, into the cats’ food dish, into the cats’ water. Even poor Mia, who was innocently drinking water, got Ranched. She stood stunned, blinking up at me, chunks of gooey-white lettuce sliding down her fur. Her eyes seemed to say, How am I even supposed to clean myself when all I have to drink now is Ranch-water?
Ten minutes have passed since The Ranching, and Mia continues to try and de-Ranch her coat. Meanwhile, the fallout area has been thoroughly decontaminated with ten (yes, it took TEN) Clorox Clean-up Wipes. My salad is smaller than I was anticipating, but I’m eating it just the same. Let’s all cross our fingers that when Stevel gets home, he doesn’t encounter some overlooked Ranch-cranny and race upstairs to put on his “special PJs”.
June 25th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Thats the first time i’ve ever bursted out in laughter at a blog entry. Anyones blog entry.
June 25th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Poor Mia…Poor Poor Mia. The indignity of it all…Cones…Feeding Tubes…Pureed Food..And now ‘Ranching’ Where will it ever end!!!
So you got rid of the evidence of the ‘Ranching’ but how about the smell?
June 25th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Do you remember when you guys came to visit me when I was living in NYC and Steve took a shower and I put a bottle of ranch dressing and a block of cheese on the floor outside of the bathroom door?
Those were good times.
June 26th, 2007 at 1:05 am
Suicide by Ranch = slather his iPhone in R A N C H.
July 1st, 2007 at 12:51 am
hello from iPhone! Submit to your desire!