Baby Q&A

February 12th, 2008

I think I e-mailed most of the Internet, but in case you haven’t heard, there is a new family member at No. 6. Here are answers to some of the questions we’re being asked:

WHAT ARE THE STATS?

Name: Violet Bella LaVietes
Born at: 7:23 a.m., Wed., February 6th, 2008
Weight: 6 lbs., 15 oz.
Length: 19 and 1/4 inches

PHOTOS?

I’m going to start you out with some blog entries from Jeremy Sr. posted during the process:

Start here (Stevel messages Jeremy on iPhones)

Temporary Housing

First Visit (with link to a gallery of more shots)

The pièce de résistance (also with a link to more shots)

Our Album from No. 6 (I recommend clicking on “Start Slideshow”)

HOW WAS THE LABOR AND DELIVERY?

It’s tough to judge these things, it’s all so relative, every woman’s experience is different and IT COMPLETELY SUCKED. What they tell you about how it is all worth it? That is crap. I mean, of course I would go through anything, now that I’ve met this kid, to be with her, but how—HOW—does that change the nine months of puke, exhaustion, and depression, or the extreme pain of labor and recovery? It doesn’t, and I’m not sure how this phrase, “You’ll see; it will all be worth it” came to mean, “This pain is not so bad.” I feel misled. I wanted to DIE and then be reborn so I could DIE AGAIN.

Then again, there was a lot Stevel and I didn’t know in the name of remaining willfully naive. Because while some people might find comfort in knowing what to expect, such knowledge tends to bring only dread for us. Anyway, I was in labor for 32 hours, starting at 11 p.m. (meaning I hadn’t slept since the night before and hadn’t eaten since dinner—these were two things I would not get to do again for 32 hours). We spent the night passing contractions. Having never felt contractions, I can liken them now to the orange-juice-concentrate equivalent of the diarrhea cramps I got one time that were so painful I passed out on the toilet and woke up on the bathroom floor. I know some of you are offended by foul language, but FUCKING OW.

In the morning, Stevel called the O.B., who advised us to stay at home as long as I was comfortable. Even though we had passed that mark hours earlier, we remained at home until about noon. In the hospital, we were given the last available birthing suite. Busy time for deliveries. Our room was nicer than most hotel rooms I have stayed in, which is good, because we proceeded to spend a lot of time in there. The view out our window was beautiful: We could see the roof of our house, the playground of the local elementary school, and snow-capped mountains in the distance.

I mentioned that it was a busy time for deliveries. We think this may have affected the length of my labor, because my contractions never became regular on their own, and it was late at night before we had a nurse who was dedicated to our case enough to get aggressive with the drug (Petosin) needed to stimulate contractions. Up until that point, we had wonderful nurses working with us, but the nurse assigned to our room changed several times, and we were left alone for hours at a time to suffer and puke up bile and watch the plasma-screen TV. Once I was given an epidural, though, and, like I said, a nurse was dedicated to our situation, things rolled right along. It was just a LONG, painful wait for those things.

Although the labor was rough, the actual delivery was a piece of cake in our case. Aggressive Petosin combined with the epidural meant we could let the labor go until the baby was nice and low. Twenty minutes of pain-free pushing and she was out. I was amazed that I could see her come out. I didn’t expect that. But there was the bloody little head.

She was whisked to the inspection station (Apgar score: 8 at 1 minute, 9 at five minutes) and determined to be a healthy newborn. Meanwhile, my O.B. assumed I would want to see the placenta up close. YUCK. Yuck and BARF!

You can take an online tour of the hospital’s birth wing here if you want.

AND AFTER THAT?

OK, there is good and bad to follow the birth. First, the good. The two days in the hospital were sort of wonderful. I was in a lot of pain, yes, and we were beyond sleep-deprived, but it was just the three of us, hanging out, with no responsibilities. Nurses took good care of us. I was given good medications for pain. Friends wandered in and out to visit a little. Steve was able to walk the three blocks home to get anything we needed and to check on the cats. There was a snack room, and, of course, meals were brought to me. Best of all, we found ourselves enamored with our little baby girl. Glow, glow, glow.

Here at home, we continue enjoying our time together and also continue to enjoy showing off Violet to friends. Last night was the first long night; some stomach distress kept her (and us) up. But she is otherwise an easygoing, content little baby thus far. We’re managing to keep the house together, thanks in part to food from friends and a team effort between the two of us.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

Although I feel great mentally, I have decided that “episiotomy” shall henceforth be the vilest word in the English language. If someone is being an asshole, I will think of that person as an asshole. If someone is being a douche-bag, I will think of that person as a douche-bag. And if someone transcends all assholishness/douche-baggery, I will think of that person as an episiotomy. In the rare case of someone being even worse, I will think of THAT person as the-first-crap-you-have-to-take-after-having-had-an-episiotomy. I feel bad in some ways even complaining about my two stitches, because I know I am the pansy sister of someone who birthed a 10 lb.-2-ounce baby through the canal (how many stitches, again, Cher? [shudder]). But oh my God, the PAIN. I want back the drugs they gave me in the hospital SO BAD. (Now I am just allowed to take Ibuprofen—NOT GOOD ENOUGH.)

That said, I am feeling great otherwise. I’m quite moved and happy. She is a dream.

ARE YOU NURSING?

Yes, for now, and for as long as her system, the boob-juice, and my sanity are compatible. So far, it’s going well. She is a good little milk-leech.

WHAT DOES STEVEL THINK OF FATHERHOOD?

He seems enchanted with it. He is wonderful with her and cites a hormonal instinct kicking in that is protective and that he described as, “I like this thing.” They seem somehow already to be alike.

It is perhaps the most moving aspect of this experience so far for me to see him as a dad.

WHAT’S WITH THE MIDDLE NAME? IS SOMEONE ITALIAN?

No. Once we had settled on Violet (Steve’s idea—my only direction was to find something with a “V” in it to go with the “V” in “LaVietes”), we just explored different middle names until we found one we both liked. My only stipulation was that the middle name not be something that turned “Violet” into an adjective (like Violet May).

As for the nickname, Stevel and I secretly called her that for months before the birth. It was Stevel’s reading of her initials—VBL. Here is a short tutorial:

Tribble

Nibble

Vibble

WHAT’S SHE LIKE?

People, she is SO TOTALLY SWEET. She makes a lot of cute, little sounds, like squeaks and coos, and sometimes she snorts. She does NOT like to have her clothes removed—e.g. for diaper changes or baths. Whereas hunger brings a cry, these things can cause shrieking. She likes to be held, prefers to sleep in someone’s arms. And speaking of arms, hers are generally in motion, or stretched straight out or up. Forget swaddling them inside the blanket, because she’ll work her hardest to get them OUT. She is, in general, a squirmer. Steve found it funny that the movements of Violet-on-the-outside feel exactly like the movements we used to feel through my abdomen as perpetrated by Violet-on-the-inside (aka “Kicky”). Finally, she is very healthy, as confirmed today at her first doctor’s appointment.

HOW ARE THE CATS REACTING?

Linus does not seem to mind her presence one bit. He does retreat when there is shrieking, but otherwise, he lives life as normal. Stevel is careful to give him some chest-snuggling time every day. Mia does not like it. She tries to keep a cushion of space between herself and Violet, and when she discovers Violet in a place where she herself has been working toward getting to (e.g. the spot on the bed where Violet’s sleeper-thing is), she is visibly disappointed to find a baby there. Her irritation, combined with Linus’ continued stalking of her, means she remains a poop-and-pee terrorist in our home. We are, as always, trying various litter-box solutions and incentives. Meanwhile, we in some ways dread Vibble’s crawling phase. Don’t you?

WHEN DO THE PEOPLE START ARRIVING?

My mother arrives in a little over a week, with Steve’s mother right on her heels. My dad and Pauline will be here in March. Steve’s sister comes in April, mine, in May. Meanwhile, our friends are making their introductions. She has already met many of them (including David, Jeremy Sr., Scot, Sarah-Architect, Silas, Jeremy Jr., and Brian), and we hope to host more in the coming days. She is one of the crew, for sure. Local friends, please feel free to call or e-mail if you want to meet her.

Steve is off of work for two weeks, with the week after that being a transition week in which he will work from home some and be on and off. He has a lot of accrued vacation time, so he may take off more later at some point.

SHE’S HAD HER FIRST OUTING? WHERE DID YOU TAKE HER?

We went on Saturday to Right Start on Wilshire, about six blocks from No. 6. Not only did we want to start her shopping as soon as possible, but we decided we needed (a) a swing, and (b) one of these things, since we both kept getting up to look into the bassinet to see how she was doing or to admire her.

FROM WHENCE CAME THOSE EARS?

I know, right? And I have no idea. They are so round and sweet, and they are nothing like either of our ear-shapes. What’s funny is, Stevel and I were so tired and out-of-whack in the hospital, we have been comparing notes, because we remember—and have no memory at all—of different goings-on from that time. I do have a vague memory of being in the hospital bed not long after the birth and feeling my hair being lifted. I turned to find Stevel inspecting my ears. He explained that he was trying to figure out where her ears came from.

IS THIS THE END OF THE ROCKIN’?

No way! Vibble has already slept through some Rock Band and has shown some rock preferences. Likes: B-52′s. Dislikes: David Bowie (she flinched repeatedly in her sleep during this song as if distressed). Since she heard a lot of Rock Band through the womb-wall, it stands to reason she shouldn’t mind it too much. Meanwhile, with her new swing in the living room, everybody’s rockin’.

10 Responses to “Baby Q&A”

  1. Court Says:

    Congrats LaVietes family!
    Great work…Little V is AMAZING!
    Bravo! xo~

  2. DAD Says:

    Jeremy, thank you soo much for the great pics. Krissy you forgot to mention to the folks that YOU took 38 hours to come in to the world. Still beat Vibbell by 6 whole hours. And by the way your Mom did not have anything but water and ice chips the whole time. And her contractions were five minutes apart the whole time. You just could not make up your mind to stay or come out.

    She is just so adorable. You lose some perspective when your other two grandchildren are (about to be 9) and 5. They grow just way too fast.

    If only you could keep the lightening in the bottle. But alas she will grow, and grow, and grow. And the real fun begins when she begins to ask questions and says no to everything.

    I am so proud of you two, I can not think of two better people to entrust the care, welfare and education of my grandaughter to.

    I love all three of you. Be great to each other.

  3. bridgey Says:

    YAY! Dave and I love all three of you and look forward to meeting Violet. Thank you for this great post to get us all up to speed!

  4. cindy Says:

    Save some floor space for me! I can’t wait to meet this kid.

  5. Sarah Says:

    You are definitely the coolest mom I know.

  6. ma Says:

    She is SO LOVELY! And, from the sounds of things, she is a VERY good little baby. That should make up some for the nine months of suffering that she put her parents through. I can hardly WAIT to meet her and hold her in my arms!

    So, family members out there – whose ears did Violet get? Are they yours? Maybe we should start a family-wide photo collection of ear pictures, in order to determine who gave them to her. Send in your submissions, everybody. :-)

  7. Abigail Says:

    She is adorable! I’m glad to hear everything is going so well. If you have nursing issues please do not hesitate to call me. I know I’m not nearby, but I help new moms with breastfeeding questions over the phone all the time.

    The consensus from our neck of the woods is that she looks like Steve. We look forward to meeting her. :)

  8. Tracey Says:

    You guys she is so adorable!!! Maybe the ears are mine :0). When is her first trip to PA? I can’t wait to hold her and hug her and welcome her for myself. Keep the pictures coming and hug her lots for me! Our friend Kirk (remember krissy, he was in our wedding) had his first baby last week, as well. Lots of babies to love now!

  9. Grandma Anne, aka Nana Says:

    I am chuckling about the ears comment. Debi (Aunt Debi) and I were viewing the photos, I at home in Troutdale and she in Corvallis, while talking on the phone. Our very question to each other: Where did the ears come from?

    I had to mail to Kristan the newborn photos of Debi–and Kristan saw it also.

    Auggie and I can hardly wait to get to Santa Monica on March 2. The amazing thing about grandchildren is that no matter how many you have you still are overwhelmed by love for each and everyone.

  10. Lynn C (Jeremy's Mom) Says:

    Congratulations! Your baby is beautiful. Your photographer sure did a great job;)

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