I’m traveling soon on your airline, because you alone had a direct flight to Detroit at a time that worked for me, and I’m bringing an infant. Most airlines want to know in advance about this sort of carry-on item. I assume you do, too.

But perhaps you don’t. I tried for three days to reach you via the phone number posted on your Web site. I tried every menu option but was always disconnected.

Undaunted, I decided to send a message through your Web site’s Contact page … to, as it were, “e-mail” you. Apparently, however, this option is much like the ole’ nickel-glued-to-the-ground trick. The drop-down menu for something called “Location” contains no options, and clicking on “Send” earns me a pop-up explaining that no, I may not send without choosing a Location.

Oh, Spirit Airlines, you can play hard to get, but I will persevere. As I persisted in tracking you down, I encountered tale after tale of woe on the Internet. You have been a bad, bad airline, it seems, and many broken-hearted ex-passengers in your wake have been compelled to blog of their anger. Despite all of these stories about what an awful airline you are, I persisted in tracking you down, plugging away with my searches until I located YOUR POSTAL ADDRESS, whereupon I SENT YOU A LETTER. It may be 2008, but perhaps you are an old-fashioned airline. I can respect that. And you are worth 42 cents in my book. Maybe not much more, but FORTY-TWO CENTS, YES.

So, again, please hear my heartfelt, feelingy feelings, which are these: I feel I must let you know I am traveling with an infant.

Looking forward to flying your unfriendly skies very soon,
Kristan LaVietes