It Crawls

September 12th, 2008

Things to do when you’re seven months old while Mom takes a hot bath:

[1] Spend five minutes playing with the toys Mom left for you on the floor
[2] Spy Mom in the bathtub
[3] Visibly think very hard about how to get to Mom in the bathtub … very far away
[4] Spy Mom’s clothes on the floor. Roll to Mom’s clothes and lick her shirt.
[5] Realize you have learned in the past few weeks how to sort of crawl
[6] Commence crawling
[7] Pause to lick the rug
[8] Restart crawling
[9] Cross threshold into bathroom
[10] Pause to lick bathroom floor
[11] Commence crawling
[12] Reach bathtub
[13] Squeal with glee and pride
[14] Roll over and wad up fuzzy bath rug
[15] Lick fuzzy bath rug until Mom gets the message and finishes her bath to pick you up

A few comments …

Yes, I know: A decadently hot bath! On a Friday morning. With a baby in the house. People, I don’t know what kind of shit-shoveler I was in my past life, but I am being rewarded for it. I must be. Nothing I have ever done in this life points to my deserving such an awesome, delightful, easy baby. (Yeah, teething blows, but it’s worse for her than for me, so I can’t complain about my being inconvenienced by it.) Right now she is watching Baby Beethoven in her swing. She loves Baby Beethoven. It is about 30 minutes long and can be set to repeat. Every time in the loop the credits come on, she fusses and cries. She calms back down when it starts up again. Eventually she takes a nap.

Regarding the licking of floors. I’ve just given up on that one. She licks the rug several times a day. She licks the hardwood. While I water the plants, she licks the courtyard. The guy who cleans our carpets every few months uses a disinfectant, but it only takes a day for the World’s Grossest Cats to cover 80 percent of that carpet with vomit, hair, cat litter, and who-knows-what. Vibble, may your immune system develop beyond scientific comprehension.

She’s now eating jars of food and plenty of baby cereal, along with her human-dairy diet. Changing her diapers is a different kind of task now. Let’s just say I’m not buying any more jar-carrots. Poop should never, ever be that color.

Yesterday we spent a fun evening with the Hills, formerly of West Side L.A., thereafter formerly of Vancouver, and now of Irvine, Calif. We went for shabu shabu and watched Violet do her thing back here at No. 6. We’re glad to have them nearby and look so forward to the arrival of a wee friend for Vibb soon.

Here is your Vibble fix. Steve has been getting some crawling video, so watch for that soon.

7 Responses to “It Crawls”

  1. Ma Says:

    She’s CRAWLING! How WONDERFUL!!!! Wish I could just fly out and see her doing that and give her a big kiss & a hug for being such a good crawler! (You’ll have to do it for me, K.)

    What did you do to deserve such a sweet, delightful baby? YOU were a sweet, delightful baby. You deserve every precious thing about her and I’m so glad that you are enjoying her so much.

    I miss you all…….XXXOOO

  2. Dad Says:

    Whoa, she is fast, you can just tell from the way she moves. Crawling is such fun, so much to see and taste. And it is just beginning. You have to crawl before you can walk (run). Better start running now, so you can keep up.

    And the hair, it is growing so fast. Being folicley (sp) challenged myself, I am justifyably jealous. But it looks so cute on her.

    Can’t wait for the videos Stevel. Please expidite at your earliest convenience.

  3. Unrelated Side Note » Blog Archive » More Wedding Stuff Says:

    [...] P.S. – VBL is crawling! [...]

  4. AxsDeny Says:

    There’s a dirty joke hidden in this blog post, but I’ll refrain from pointing it out.

    Also, the Crime Bath ain’t what it used to be.

  5. Bridget Says:

    EEEE. What a sweet baby. Congrats and good luck on the crawling!!

  6. LarryD Says:

    Hey Kristan,
    Granny Annie mentioned you are published . Where would I find that book?? Name??

    Ole Texas Uncle,
    LarryD
    larry2161941@gmail.com

  7. Lorren Says:

    That’s way the betesst answer so far!

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