Your Hypocrisy Will Not Be Tolerated

April 27th, 2009

I have for some time realized I need to make changes to my dietary habits. It is not going to work to tell Vibble to eat a healthy diet while I model opposite behavior. This morning it became clear the time to make those changes is now. As Vibble ate bananas and zucchini bread in her doorway jumper, she looked up to the counter and saw my own breakfast—red velvet cake—and, no lie, she narrowed her eyes and turned her lips down in a show of contempt. Telepathically, she said, “I know what that IS, Bob.” This was a threat. If I didn’t cease this classist behavior, she would do what she had done last night in the restaurant where the cake had originally come from: Shriek at a volume that would send her father into such a state of anxiety he would not sleep for the rest of the night, and she would do this without stopping until she too was given cake. Yeah, I stopped eating my “breakfast” mid-bite.

6 Responses to “Your Hypocrisy Will Not Be Tolerated”

  1. jer Says:

    I’ll take it.

  2. sista' Says:

    Bob, get with it, cake for breakfast is GOOD for kids….Just ask Bill Cosby.

  3. Scrubbed Innocence Says:

    I’m having Pepsi and Chocolate Cake for breakfast. Right now. It’s a mental health thing.

  4. ma Says:

    Cake, donuts, pancakes with syrup, cinnamon coffee cake, waffles with powdered sugar, cruellers, sweet rolls, Count Chocula Cereal. You can fight it if you want to, but most people love to jump-start their day with sweet stuff! It puts a smile on their face. That’s why Dunkin’ Donuts is a multi-million dollar business.

    In an ideal world, everyone would eat melon and granola for breakfast and jog to work. But you gotta live on THIS planet, and it’s a far cry from “ideal”. It’s only a matter of time before she says “I’d rather STARVE than eat that melon! I want a chocolate donut!” And you’ll cave, because the fact is, YOU’D rather have a chocolate donut, too.

    It’s hard to be a parent, isn’t it?

  5. Dad Says:

    As your sister says, Bill Cosby rates Chocolate (or in your case, Red Velvet Cake) as a complete food. It has all of the essential foods groups; dairy, grain, suage and of course the most essential food group, CHOCOLATE.

    So let my grandaughter eat healthy foods. Just keep the sugar intake to a minimum. She is hyper now, do not increase the situation.

    Anyway, she will get her share of healthy (Grandmother) and spoiled food items (Grandmother again) when we all get to Savanah.

  6. bridget Says:

    I love cake for breakfast. However, it sounds like if you are going to do this, you are not going to be able to do it in front of Violet!

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