Linus and Mia received Christmas gifts from my mother in the form of “The Crinkly Crab” and “The Perky Prawn” toys. Now, as you know, these cats prefer the toy brand “Eeks,” and indeed had received new “Eeks” toys from their loving owners: an “Eeks” worm for Linus, and an “Eeks” cocktail weiner for Mia, both of which went from lovely, new fabric to brown-saliva-gross in under twenty minutes. But for the first day after receiving the toys from my mother, Mia switched loyalties and devoted herself heart and soul to the Perky Prawn. Fickle as she is, though, the prawn now lies discarded and heartbroken on the floor, while Mia dedicates herself to one new beau after another. Yesterday it was the bag of trash that waited to be taken out. She just loves to rip a leak-hole into the bottom of a full bag of trash. Sweet kitty. Last night she moved on to an empty box, until Linus cut in on the dance. This morning she went back to her ex, an obsession she can’t seem to kick in which she licks the computer-shoe. Those of you who have visited know the shoe I mean, and the leather-licking she cannot quit.

I’m supposedly working on my thesis right now.