My six-year-old niece agreed to talk to me on the phone last night. This used to be typical, before she became a mini-teenager, but now she is always “busy” or “doesn’t want to” or is, as my sister puts it, “too cool” to talk to me. What. Ever. Anyway, I asked her if it was snowing there in Pennsylvania, and she explained that there was snow on the ground but that it was melting. I told her that where I live, it doesn’t snow and in fact rarely rains, and she said, “So what, then, the sun comes out like every day?” Yes, I confirmed. Like every day. No snow on Christmas even, which she said would be weird, because “It’s not supposed to be sunny at Christmas.” I told her she should visit me when she gets a little older and see for herself the sunny Utopia where I live. I added that Disneyland is nearby, and I got a “very cool” for that.

My conversation with her three-year-old sister, Dani, was less deep. Since their little family adopted a kitten for Christmas, Dani mostly reports on where the kitten has peed most recently. Often, the first thing she says into the phone is, “Shadow peed on my bed!” Sometimes she repeats it, gaining volume with every iteration.

Maybe I should have them put Shadow on the phone.