Journal Entry from the Toddler Planet

February 18th, 2010

Tuesday I woke to find a feral child crouched in the room. She refused to be bathed, despite several days’ odor and a face caked in day-old ketchup. Any moves toward the bathtub elicited primal shrieking. Piece by piece, I removed her clothes over the length of an hour. Each clothing item required strategic immobilization of the child’s strong, flailing limbs. Finally, she was down to just the diaper. I had filled a bucket with warm bathwater and brought it to the TV. She eyed it suspiciously. She refused to go near it. I turned off the TV and explained that if Caillou was to continue, a certain little bum would have to be sitting in a certain bucket of water. The young primate threw itself to the floor and grabbed and threw nearby objects, all the while eliciting a wail we refer to here in the city as “noise pollution.”

I slowly cornered the creature. The volume of screams increased. As I tore at her diaper, she shifted her screams from primal wails to a repeated shout of the word “STINKY! STINKY!”

“Yes,” I said, “You are stinky.”


I turned on the TV and stuck her in the bucket, where she stiffened and howled. With one arm around her waist, I quickly soaped and rinsed the feral child. I soaked myself and the carpet, but a scientific curiosity drove me to want to see what was underneath the strata of ketchup. Then, I had an idea. Perhaps the fickle creature was not interested in Caillou today. I stretched an arm to the TV, flipping up the channels as quickly as I could to reach Dora.

My hypothesis was correct. The creature giggled and sank into the bucket, allowing me to wash her hair without protest. As a result, I was able to determine that the animal was in fact a cute little girl who is in a phase of Refusal to Bathe and who, admittedly adorably, now says all kinds of words, like “shoe” and “thank you!” and the ever-popular “STINKY!,” still needs to learn to just let it be known when all she really wants is to change the channel.

Run, Vibble, Run!

February 13th, 2010

Just a few photos from the park today. :)

What You Are Witnessing

February 12th, 2010

What you are witnessing in this photo is this: I was cleaning up the kitchen, and Vibble went and got this empty grocery bag and proceeded to do some “shopping” in the pantry. She filled the bag, and even though she dumped a LOT of spaghetti all over the place, I thought it was SO CUTE, so I went and got my phone to take this photo … and AS I SNAPPED IT, she dumped the cats’ water bowl into the bag, soaking the entire contents. STINKER! Soggy spaghetti, anyone?

Into the Twos, with Intensity

February 9th, 2010

We’ve been enjoying a wonderful visit from my mom, and she shall henceforth be referred to as “The Groundhog,” because I asked Vibble to say “Grandma,” and she said something like “Gruh,” and of course my mother was THA-RILLED, but then Stevel said, “It sounded more like ‘Groundhog’ to me.” And with that, a nickname is born.

This trip will be memorable to me as the Trip When Violet Refused to Sleep Because GROUNDHOG IS HERE. How many times can you tell someone Good Night, child???

We lucked out with gorgeous weather for the birthday party. Violet’s Big Oh-Two was ushered in with hot dogs, presents, cupcakes (Thanks for the cupcakes, David!), a playground, and lots of friends in their 20s, 30s and 40s. Awesome!

Today we took Violet swimming during open pool time at the Y. As my mom described it, “Sheer joy.” Vibb was beside herself with happiness at having the pool all to herself and two people to “swim” around with.

And so, she is two. But we have sort of known that for some time now. What a cutie.


Photos Posted at Last

February 2nd, 2010

Thanks to Cindy for sending my left-behind camera … So if you want to see what the little ones of my college roommates look like, here are some photos from the trip. :)